What Noel said

* On Liam: ”He’s the man who put the “tit” in “attitude”.”
* On Pop Idol: “The side of it I love is when the winner finally realises that he’s just a fat idiot from a supermarket who got lucky and so turns to alcohol and ends up killing his own gerbils - that’s brilliant.”
* On Liam’s songwriting: “He’s not as good as John Lennon. He’s not as good as Jack Lemmon, God bless him.”
* On Will Young: “He’s in the Guinness Book of Records. But so what? So is a bloke who jumps off the Eiffel Tower and lands in a tea cup.”

What Liam said

* On Noel: “I’ve had more fun with a tin of sardines.”
* On England’s football team: “A bag of shite. My grandmother would do better, on acid with a Toblerone stuck up her arse.”
* On Oasis’s attempts to break America: “Americans want grungy fooking people, stabbing themselves in the head on stage. They get a bright bunch like us, with deodorant on, and they don’t get it.”
* On Russell Brand and Noel’s talk-sport radio show: “Fooking hell, what a pair of housewives.”
* On his nature: “I don’t think I’ve ever said anything that’s nasty.”